I’ve never liked the word content–it always had the connotation of just settling. I was raised to never settle for less than the best.
Because of that, I’ve had a hard time. I’ve really only wanted a simple life; I’ve never had grandiose expectations of my life (well, with the exception of the availability and opportunity to constantly travel to the British Isles, or even better, to live there). But, I’m getting to the point in my life where cogs are turning, doors are opening and turning, and some friends are going faster or further than me.
Friends have had a baby, or are pregnant. We won’t for a while. Friends have just put a down payment on a beautiful house or moved out of Provo. We have at least another year at BYU. Friends have gotten hired at great schools, teaching awesome subjects, and supervising fun clubs. I have a half-time gig in a city about 45 minutes away. Friends have opportunities to travel, to explore, to live life to the fullest. The last time we were out of state was our honeymoon. Friends have blogs with over 100 followers, are sponsoring others, and gaining revenue from giveaways and sponsors. I have a small 32 followers (but thank you so much to my faithful followers). Friends have amazing crafts or recipes that are being used and bought. I’m not a crafty person (my creativity is in the form of words, and even that seems to be lacking lately) and I only tinker in the kitchen. Friends are running half-marathons and marathons. I’m stuck with an LCL injury from January!
So, as you see, I’ve fallen into the problem of comparison. And that is never the road to happiness. I’ve been freaking out with things I don’t need to. I have the best husband I could ever ask for–when they first met, my mom absolutely loved him and he is perfect for me in every way. We have a nice apartment, filled with quality hand-me-downs and wedding gifts, which means we hardly had to spend any money to begin our life together. Although it’s only half-time, I have a job for next year, teaching both English and history. And, I’ll have the opportunity to do cross-curricular stuff with my students, which was my dream. And I’ll be the go-to sub for the periods I don’t teach. Justin and I will be going to Virginia during Labor Day weekend to visit family and see a football game. We’re also going camping this summer. My blog is still growing, and I am still learning and having fun with it–that’s all that matters. My husband and I love to cook and we enjoy our creations. I still have my health, even if I can’t run long distance, for now. I have a wonderful family who is always asking me how I am doing and wants us to come visit all the time. They only live an hour away as well. And now, I have a second family–my in-laws. They truly care about me and love me. I was just invited by my mother-in-law to join in on the Morrell girls ornament trading. I truly feel like a Morrell–how many other girls have such a wonderful, peaceful relationship with their mother-in-law?
I need to keep this quote in mind more often this summer. I need to focus on what I do have. I am very lucky and have had great and wonderful opportunities so far. Although Justin and my life may be on hiatus for another year as he finishes school, it is a good life and one that will open even more doors than ever. I just have to remember that–this half-time gig is not my career. We are not stuck in Provo. As I work and try, my blogging, crafting, and other skills will improve; I just have to pay attention to them.
I just have to remain positive, be thankful for what I have, not compare myself to others, and keep my faith in God. I’m where I should be for now and I am content.