I am so happy that the Peony Project’s word of the month for February is Contentment.
This has always, always been an issue in my life, and I have written on it many times:
May 2013–I was jealous of all my friends moving on with their adult lives
March 2014–I had trouble focusing and enjoying the little things in life
June 2014–I was losing faith in the Lord’s timing with all the trials we had last year
Contentment is my weakness, but also at the same time, my strength. Odd how that works out.
I was very content with my childhood–I was given so much and had great opportunities.
I am very content (more than content) with my religion–I’ve never doubted.
I was very content (more than content) with my choice of a husband–he is all that I needed and more.
I was very content (more than content) with my wedding–it was simple and yet, the wedding of my dreams.
I am very content with my baby boy–he is a blessing in our lives.
am can be very content in my lifestyle….
And see, that’s where the weakness comes in. Yes, I’m happy living frugally. Yes, I have a beautiful townhome we rent. Yes, we have no debt (except for a car). Yes, we have everything we need and more and aren’t lacking or needing anything. Yes, I’m happy with the clothes, accessories, makesup, etc. that I have.
Then I see that my friends have bought a house. I would love to own a home, but it’s not financially time for that yet.
Then I see that my friends are pregnant again. I would love to have more kids, but Rhys is only 7 months.
Then I see that my friend’s husband has a job making 70K. I would love to have that, but together, Justin and I still don’t make that.
Then I see that my friends are becoming SAHMs and have opened businesses. I would love to have that (and will have the SAHM part), but I don’t have the skills to open a shop, and our income will lower.
Then I see that my friends and spouses are traveling all over the country and all over the world. I would love to have that, but it’s not financially realistic right now.
Then I see that my friends blogs are exploding with popularity. I would love that and I’m trying to balance growing and authenticity.
So, as you can see, the green monster has a good grasp on me. But, what helps me is to count my blessings–I have made many a blessing/grateful heart/drop of awesome list when I feel like discontentment is taking me over. I also pray for the Lord’s strength and help. I have to remember this scripture:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8 King James Version)