Let’s Be Real For a Sec

I did have a post planned for today, but I didn’t feel like writing it. I also was supposed to send out a biweekly newsletter, but again, I didn’t feel like it. Honestly, guys, I’ve been feeling pretty melancholy the past little while, so let’s be real for a sec and have some real talk. I was going to write this post last night before I went to bed, but after a 10 hour sleep and a good hour work out, (all before Rhys woke up!) I feel a little more rational, although not much more elated.

I absolutely love the blogging community for all the support and friendship I have online, but, I wish I could have more of that in real life, too.

My husband always pushes me to be proactive socially, and I have been trying really hard. I have texted and facebooked many, many of my friends, asking for play dates or lunch dates, but, they all have said they couldn’t because of various reasons. It really makes me second guess myself, especially when I see them on social media going out and about and hanging with other friends. Do they just not like me or not want to hang out with me?

Rhys is almost 20 months old and can only say “Momma”, “Daddy”, and “no”. He has numerous sounds and knows four signs, and can communicate very well physically. He also has very good receptive communication/language skills, but whenever we ask him to say something, he just says, “dada” or “baba”. I have many friends who have kids within a few weeks of Rhys’s age, and they are all speaking very clearly. I know he is smart and has the capability to, but it worries me.

I am so thankful that I don’t have to pay rent right now and that we are saving money, and have my family’s utmost support while living in their basement, but…

I miss having my own place

– I still get lonely during the day while everyone else is at work or school

– I still don’t have a reliable, consistent mode of transportation because everyone else is using theirs

– I feel a little trapped up here in Farmington as opposed to Sandy near the TRAX

– Justin got a little raise recently, but it seems almost unnoticeable

– I know we are saving money, and I know we’ve only lived here almost a month, but it seems like it is taking forever to save up money

Justin’s team of developers at his job now has mandatory late nights and weekends (he typically works 7AM-3PM, Mon-Fri) for the next two weeks. And to that a 30-40 minute commute both ways, and he will hardly get to see either me or Rhys. I know that we are actually very lucky for him to have the hours that he does, and husbands working overtime or overnight or traveling is normal, but it is not our norm.

I have so many plans for this blog and all my social media, but I really can’t start on any of it until my blog gets redesigned and moved over to WordPress (otherwise it’d be pointless). I am so thankful that I have someone professionally doing this for me so it will look nice and there won’t be any kinks, but it was supposed to be done on the 9th…I’m getting a little itchy.

I have such a wonderful husband, but sometimes, I get trapped by the social media comparison game.

HOWEVER…

I am so in love with my son. My love for him just grew exponentially this past week for some reason. He is the absolute best and the light of my life. He is so smart, playful, compliant, and funny. He definitely has a sense of humor and he knows it! He always cheers me up. He has also been more cuddly and tender this past week of his own volition. I wonder if Rhys has realized that I’ve been feeling low and is trying to help.

I am thankful that I’ve been doing very well with my personal scripture study in the mornings. It’s been helping a lot.

I am so thankful that there was a wind and snow/rain storm that has cleared off the inversion. I can breathe so much better! It is also much warmer and Rhys and I have been spending time outside.

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.
  • I’m sorry for everything that you’ve been going through lately. I know it’s got to be so hard sometimes. I had a group of really close-knit IRL friends, but they have pretty much all moved away. Now, I pretty much only hang out with Chris and his family. Which is fine. I adore them all and have such a great time. But part of me thinks…if we don’t work out, I will have ZERO social life. Not that I spend a lot of time thinking about that.

    But anyway, this comment was supposed to be encouraging, so here goes: you have a lot of friends. Maybe you can’t physically take your kids to the park together or go out for lunch every week. But there are a lot of people out here that are real enough and that you can turn to when things are hard.

    • themorrelltale@gmail.com

      Thank you so much Karen! That’s why I love the blogosphere so much–I truly feel supported and cared for here!

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