Each month it seems that I rock at my goals the first week and a half to two weeks. Then, I completely fail the rest of the month. It seems that way every time I do one of these monthly goals. But I don’t give up. I don’t stop making goals. Why. Because it always helps to be striving toward something. Having a goal helps build motivation. It helps give life purpose. It helps me to live more intentionally. And, I may fail (a lot). I’m not going to give myself grace, but I am going to acknowledge that I am mortal. I am human. I have weaknesses. A lot of them. And so, rather than try to make things more clear or stringent, I am going to go back to basics. I want to figure out my who, my how, and my why.
After unintentionally not blogging for the first half of August, I decided to take a break for the entire month. Yes, I was still present in social media. However, I was intentionally trying to use it to grow myself. It felt nice to take a break. We were moving, I started going off my anti-depressant, and Evie started hardcore teething. So, I enjoyed just being in the present. …and sleeping. A lot of sleeping. Haha.
I’m ready to jump back into blogging. I have a lot of ideas. I mean, a ton of ideas. So many ideas that I now have the entire rest of the year planned out. But, here is a the weird thing. I missed blogging, and I’m glad to get back to it, but I’m not necessarily “excited” about it? I love blogging, but I don’t have such a huge burning passion for it? It’s weird to describe.
But, here we go!
Having June off from real goals really helped me. I wasn’t as stressed (granted, I wasn’t as productive either), but I was happier. I did have some health issues and lot of blood work done. On the one hand, the blood work and my physicals all came back normal, on the other hand, we still aren’t sure why I’ve been so overly exhausted, sleepy, and weak lately. But, I’ve started to feel better. I’ve also done better with just being present with my kids and enjoying watching them and reading to them without the distraction of electronics. You may have noticed that I haven’t really been all that active on social media lately–that was needed. I didn’t feel the passion for it. But, now that’s it’s July, I’m ready to get back to the grind of things. I’m ready for a renewal, just like last year (I love Danica for always doing these half-way-through-the-year checkups–they are so inspiring to focus back on your resolutions).
May got away from me. After a major plateau, and even a little hill in weight
los s gain, a bad bout of depression and anxiety spurred by a new birth control, a daughter who is struggling to sleep through the night, and a son who is potty trained completely only when he isn’t wearing underwear, I struggled. Bad. Exercising fell off the radar, as did any motivation and most of my participation in Church. Most days were spent on the couch, letting the Wii-U and TV reign supreme, ordering out for lunch, struggling to somewhat clean the house before Justin came home, falling behind in blogging and freelancing, and wth a frown on my face.
I’m embarrassed to say that I really didn’t get any of goals from May done. I fell into such a funk and I let the funk rule over me. After Memorial Day weekend, I was determined to start fresh–clean house, clean mind, on top of things, positive and healthy. That last all of Memorial Day. Then, I decided to start fresh on June 1st. Lasted only a day. I want to start fresh today, but the house isn’t clean, dishes aren’t done, none of my blog posts or freelancing is done for this week–I always seem to play catch up and never can stay ahead.
April was hard. Well, it wasn’t necessarily hard. It was sick and humdrum. Rhys got bronchitis, I got a really bad cold, Evelyn had an ear infection, and Justin has a bad sinus infection that is turning into an ear infection. Tot school was put on pause for quite a bit. There was a lot of TV and Wii-U. There was a lot of cleaning marathons. There was a lot food that shouldn’t have been eaten. Evelyn began a sleep regression.
But, it was also a good month. We went to Utah for Easter and to have Evelyn blessed. The weather has been nice, pretty much the same as March. Evelyn started scooting around. Rhys started adding verbs to his “sentences”. We started potty training and have been pretty successful. I got some new clothes that actually fit me well. We went to a Rangers game and Six Flags.
So, although goals may not have been focused on, there were many memories made–and that’s what is important.