Tag Archives: life

This is the Real Life

This is real life

Life comes in stages, in chapters, in periods, in eras. Some are excited and full to bursting. Some are more monotonous. Some are full of passion and go-getting. Some are lacking and have a want of backing off and simplifying.

This is real life

This current chapter in my life has been all over the place. This whole year has been a crazy ride: We moved out of our townhome because we couldn’t afford rent when I stopped teaching. We moved into my parents’ basement. My sister got engaged and planned a wedding in two and a half months. I found out I was pregnant and then a week later, Justin got laid off.

Needless to say, my hormones were all over the place. Not to mention that I felt like absolute crap physically during the first trimester. My depression and anxiety came back, even though I was taking my medication. To be completely honest, there were times I regretted getting pregnant again. Especially because of an off-hand comment someone had made: “You can’t even afford rent right now. Why are you trying to get pregnant?” Rhys was already literally sleeping in the closet. Where would we put our new girl in my parents’ basement if we were still living there. If Justin hadn’t found a job by January, how would we pay for the entire pregnancy and birth without income or insurance? Were we rash in even trying when things seemed so uncertain?

But, Justin was a rock when it came to our precious daughter. He said the fact that she came so quickly after we started trying meant that she was supposed to come now for a reason. Once I heard her heartbeat for the first time, I started to calm down and fall in love with my second child. Although my worry about affording her never stopped until Justin got this job.

We were so thankful for the job opportunity Justin received. It would pay more than either of us have ever made, it would allow us to move to Texas for an adventure, we had stability again, and Justin would do what he loved for work. It was a whirlwind of interviews, accepting the job, leaving the state for training, coming back one weekend to move, leaving out of state again, and me setting up house all by myself.

That was hard. I was alone with no support system close by. I was almost halfway through my pregnancy. I had a 2 year old who was having a little trouble transitioning to a new place. It was over 100* each day with humidity. One day I ended up on the floor of my bedroom just crying and crying, opening my heart up to God, telling him how alone I felt, how I needed companionship and friendship. Immediately, Rhys was by my side, hugging me. He took his pacy and put it in my mouth. He covered me with his blanket and kissed my forehead. (That is my absolute favorite place Justin kisses, so it really warmed my soul when Rhys did it.)

Rhys was my constant companion. His smiles and his cuddles always lifted my soul. Even two months later, when I now have friends, the house is completely set up, and I am content with my life. Whenever I have a low day because of my anxiety and depression, Rhys is there to brighten up my day. I love him so much.

Now, two months after moving, I have a sense of contentment. The house is set up and feels cozy, even though it is smaller than we are used to (I still worry a bit about where all Evelyn’s stuff is going to go). I’m getting used to the heat (just a bit, but I still yearn for some real fall weather!). Our new congregation is wonderful about fellowship–they are so warm and welcoming. We are searching for a second car so I don’t feel trapped at home everyday. I feel content. And, if you know me, you know that I struggle with contentment a lot. However, I still am suffering a bit from panic attacks (over who knows what), anxiety, and depression. There are still days where it’s a struggle to get out of bed and be present for Rhys and not just have the TV on all day. But, that is the real life.

So, it surprised me when I realized that I seemed to be pulling away from social media a bit. My heart isn’t into blogging as much as it used to be. I don’t feel as inspired. Reading blogs or curating Instagram posts sometimes feel a chore. I always struggled to understand why my friends would just step away from their blog and never write in it for months, or publicly announce that they were done blogging for the foreseeable future. It always saddened me and I was always determined not to do that–blogging is too important to me. True, I’m not a big blogger. I don’t focus too much on “growth” or monetizing. Blogging to me has always been about friendship and a hobby, a way to express myself. But, the more and more I thought about this, I kept going back to last summer. My old laptop was dying and I couldn’t get the screen to work or have it turn on longer than like 10 minutes.. Then, Justin’s entire family went to Bear Lake for a reunion for a week. Justin and I purposefully left electronics behind (and I forgot my camera behind). I had the absolute best time of my life being present and enjoying the now with family. It was just what I needed after a stressful year of teaching and transitioning to a SAHM. I felt free. I felt content. I felt at peace.

Knowing that, I feel a little better about what I am feeling about social media now. Last week, I did a huge cleanse on all my social media platforms: I unfollowed, unliked, unfriended a lot of friends, blogs, pages, companies, etc. It felt relieving. My own numbers and stats may suffer from that, but I’m ok with it. I tried planning out an editorial calendar for my blog and came up lacking. Three times a week seems like a chore.

No, I’m not giving up blogging. I will never ever give up blogging. It means far to much to me–it is part of my soul (a horcrux if you will–and no, I never killed anyone to get it!). But, I’m not going to stress over my blog. My goal will still be twice a week, but if I don’t hit that, I’m not going to worry. I’m not going to worry about my numbers or stats. What will happen will happen.

I want to rediscover myself…on the one hand, I feel happy and content with life right now. I’m glad with my current situation. On the other hand, I’m having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I want to feel important, productive, improving. Blogging isn’t it right now–I can’t afford to try to grow my blog (literally). But, what else: teaching again? tutoring? finding a grad program? learning more about graphic design and maybe possibly starting an Etsy shop? diving into learning about photography? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s one reason that I’ve felt a pull away from blogging: I’m feeling a push in a different direction. All I know is I want to dive deeper into my relationship with the Lord, be a better housemaker, wife, and mom, read more, and find out who I will be as a true adult.

Wow, that was longer than I expected. But, again, that is the real life. I am so grateful to all of you who stay with me and will continue to do so through this next chapter in my life. Who knows? I may rediscover my blogging passion and come back fiercer than ever. Or, I may be the next Etsy shop or photographer you make a purchase from. Who knows. I’m taking this to God and He will guide me. He has been good to me the past few months and I put my trust in Him.

Tayler from The Morrell Tale.com

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Golden Vlog | March 2016 Thoughts On Life

It’s very interesting whenever you go through a transition in life–you start to reflect in your thoughts about the good and the bad, what influenced you and what changed you. So, it’s pretty interesting that this month’s Golden Vlog happened to be about that topic!

March 2016 golden vlog---thoughts on life

The Best Day Ever #1–My Wedding Day: August 3, 2012

The Best Day Ever #2–The Day Rhys Was Born: July 5, 2014

Answer one of the following questions in the comments!

1) Is there anything you wanted to accomplish by now that you haven’t?  

2) What’s been the best day of your life (so far)? 

3) Would you mind sharing about any particular low moment?

4) What is one thing you really want to achieve in the next 5 years?

5) Have there been any life-changing moments that shaped who you are today or changed your view on the world?

6) Biggest life risk and did it pay off?

7) Is there something that you’ve said or done that if you had the chance, you would go back and change? Do you mind sharing?

Tayler signature

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.

# Love Blog | The Little Things

I have written so many posts about being content and focusing on the little things. More than anyone else, I’ve written those posts for myself. Especially after having been diagnosed with PPD and Depression/Anxiety, But, even though it’s a weakness for me, I do find that when I reflect back and realize the value of and my love of the small things in life, I feel so much better. It is equivalent to keeping a continuous gratitude list.

Especially this past week, when I’ve focused on the small things life has gotten a little better and happier through the rivers of tears and clouds of melancholy.

Put some more love in your life by finding contentment and loving the little things that happen around you and to you. Your view on life will become so much brighter and full.

* Rhys always makes me smile. He is so funny, and he knows it. He will do something silly, look at me and laugh, and wait for me to respond with laughs.

* Rhys has been super cuddly recently, and it’s been really nice, because they have been so therapeutic.

* We are trying to teach Rhys not to (playfully) hit the dogs, so we’ve been sending him to “timeout” (a specific chair in the house). When we tell him to go to time out, he’ll immediately go and sit down in that chair. Sometimes he’ll fuss and yell, but he won’t move off the chair. What a good, smart boy.

* The weather has been so nice, recently.

* Rhys and I went running earlier in the week, when it was super windy, but Rhys was just happy to be outside.

* Rhys has been loving playing in the backyard, and I love watching him.

* Justin left little notes that said, “I love you” for me last week when I was feeling down.

* Justin and I have been playing a lot of Mario 3-D World on the Wii-U together.

* When my new ward’s Relief Society presidency came to visit me, they talked about starting up a Mother’s Group…that was an answer to a prayer–I’m in desperate need of a mother’s group.

* Seeing the blue sky with no clouds!

* Finishing Hope Unfolding by Beck Thompson. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I sent it to a friend who I know needs it as well.

* Getting really into the first 30 pages of a Tudor historical fiction novel.

Here are the other posts I’ve written about contentment and the little things:
Loving the little things that Rhys did his first year 
Using the little thing to help overcome a monotonous life
Taking time away from the world to be content
Contentment 2015
Contentment 2013
Focusing on the small and making the most in life
2016 Mission Statement

What little things do you love?

Let me introduce you to my cohost for #Love Blog Challenge!

 

Meet Brita Long: Christian feminist blissfully married to Dan Fleck for almost two years. Lover of Paris, pink sparkles, sensible shoes, manicures, and books. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas.

 

And of course, Me: Mormon stay at home mom married to her best friend, Justin, for 3.5 years. Mother to 19 month old Rhys. “Retired” history and English teacher, runner, lover of video games, fantasy, books, and cooking. Consumer of Italian food, chocolate, steak, and strawberries.

 

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.

5 Conversations to Have Before Moving in With Your Parents

We have been extremely blessed. We are lucky to live with my parents in such a loving, supportive home, with ALL the special items like cookware, and Dish TV! After my post on the positives of moving back in with your parents, I thought it would be useful to list all the different conversations you and your spouse should have with your parents before actually moving in. It is very important to do so before you move in! It will save everyone a lot of heartache and arguments.

Moving back in with your parents when you are married and have kids of your own can be stressful for all parties involved. Make sure to have these conversations before moving in to help ease the stress.

When to move in and out
It actually takes planning to decide when you will actually move in–you have to prepare to pack up and move out, rent a truck, cancel amenities, etc. Your parents need to make sure they have the resources and space available to help you out. But, you also need to coordinate, or at least have a plan, to move back out as well. We don’t know exactly when we are going to leave my parents’ house, but we have a ball park idea. This helps both parties plan and prepare for your stay.

What to take, what to store, and what to give away
You are moving into a small space–your entire house is not going to fit into a floor or a room. So, you will need to book a storage unit (preferably close to your parents’ house in case you need something). This is a perfect time to go through all of your stuff and declutter. Get rid of old and unused items, organize your files and important papers, give away opened or cold food. You will want to take as little as possible. We took our clothes, our video games, and Rhys’s toys. The rest of our house, including closed pantry food, is in our storage unit.

Rent and Amenities
You are extra bodies that take up space, need heating and cooing, water and electricity, and food. Talk ahead of time with your parents about what you should help out with–how much rent, if any, what amenities or grocery bills, etc. Now, my family doesn’t have a basement kitchen, so we’ve had a lot of discussion on food and meals, especially since my family works a lot later than Justin does. We have been very lucky on this point. Our rent is for Justin to be the math tutor for my sisters, and for me to not only be the English and history tutor, but also to watch the ENTIRE series of Downton Abbey (which my whole family is obsessed with and I have never seen a single episode). We are also giving my parents a flat check for groceries every month.

Duties and Position
You are not a guest. You are there long term. So, what chores will you help out with? What are your duties of the household? We will be keeping the basement clean, and since I will be the only one staying at home all day, I will help out with the dogs and keeping the main floor tidy. I will also be helping out with cooking. Justin and I will both be helping with driving, if need be, and Justin wants to help out with yard work.

Personal Space
What part of the house will you live in? For some, it will be one room, for others, an entire floor. For us, we have taken over the basement (one bedroom, one bathroom, and a family room). But, the kitchen is upstairs. So, you will need to discuss what is personal space and what isn’t. We have decided that everyone has free access to the entire house, but after a certain time at night, we all “retire to our corners.” This way, we still have a little haven, and my family doesn’t constantly feel like they have to entertain us.

What are some important discussion that you should have with your parents before moving in?

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.

5 Positives of Moving Into Your Parents’ Basement

As you know, we will be moving into my parents’ basement this weekend. We’ve known ever since I decided to quit teaching that it was a possibility. We hemmed and hawed between finding a super cheap apartment (which means very tiny and very low quality in Salt Lake County–housing is expensive here) or Justin adding 35 minutes to his commute and living with my parent.

We wanted living with my parents to be a last resort. I mean, you know the stigma of returning to your parents’ basement–you’ve failed financially, life isn’t working out for your, etc. We’ve always been proud of the fact that we both graduated from college without debt and the fact that besides the used car we are 2/3rds done paying off, we have absolutely no debt. We’ve lived in nicer housing and have had more amenities than many couples our age. We had enough in savings to completely cover the cost of my pregnancy and labor with Rhys. We technically could afford to stay here, but that would mean living paycheck to paycheck with no savings or wiggle room. So, we swallowed our pride and accepted my parents’ offer of temporarily moving in with them.

And, we feel good about it. We feel at peace. We feel that God is telling us this is a smart move for us. And, it will also help us to grow and learn.

So, we are trying to look at the bright sides of moving into my parents’ basement. Because, when you are strapped for cash and having to rely on family help, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. There are some positive outcomes to temporarily moving back.

Taking your spouse and kids and moving back into your parents' basement isn't the end of the world. There are a few positive outcomes you can focus on.

Save Money
We do have to get a storage unit for our stuff, and we will have to help out with food costs, but we will be saving so much money. All of that extra money will go directly to building back up our savings account. This is the biggest plus–we are saving a ton of money.

Support
We have the emotional support of our family. My parents have been in the same situation when I was very young, so we’re not alone. My parents also happen to work about 15 minutes away from Justin, so carpooling is an option. We will also be able to help and support them. Both my parents work, one sister is away at college all day, and the other has high school. So, they don’t have homemade dinners often, and cleaning is sporadic. I will be helping them with that.

Family Time
Rhys will be very entertained. He has two puppies to play with now, plus two adoring aunts, and two grandparents that spoil him like crazy. Justin and I will also have adults to talk to. I will be able to strengthen my relationship with my two sisters, especially my sister who is ten years younger than me.

Amenities
I’m not going to lie. This one is a little selfish. My family has DishTV and Netflix–all the shows with recording capabilities! They have all the craft supplies I could want, including a sewing machine. And the kitchen! Oh the kitchen! KitchenAid mixer, immersion blender, and so many other fun cooking toys! And a quality washer and dryer!

Growing as Adults
Life won’t be perfect. I’m sure there will be disagreements, arguments, and tensions sometimes. Sometimes we’ll just all be annoyed with the lack of privacy. But, it will help us to continue our growth as adults. We will learn patience like never before. We will learn humility and gratitude like never before. We will learn service like never before. We will learn teamwork and cooperation like never before.

We don’t know how long we will be living with my parents, and it’s definitely going to be a full house with us three, but we are just so very thankful that we are able to. And aren’t going to take it for granted at all.

Have you ever moved back in with parents after being married? What was your experience like?

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.