Things I Never Thought I’d Do as a Mother

Before I had Rhys, I had all my parenting philosophies figured out. I did my research. I read the books. I researched the articles. I believed I would learn from my parents’ mistakes and do better. I had friends who were parents already and I had things I liked and didn’t like. There were things I swore I’d never do as a mother.

For the first few month’s of Rhys’s life, I was very stringent–I let my Type A, anxiety-ridden, first-mom-self take control. It was hard. I absolutely loved every moment I spent with Rhys, but it was hard to change my philosophies. It kept happening and happening throughout Rhys’s life and now even during Evelyn’s short 6 months!

Has your parenting philosophy changed? Are there things you swore you'd never do as a mother, but ended up letting happen? Same here!

Here are things I never thought I’d do as a mother

Let my child watch TV before one-year-old…and numerous hours afterward.

Well, that happened. Ha! Sometimes, the TV is a babysitter, I’m sad to say. But, I love watching TV with Rhys and interacting with him during the shows. It helps him learn! I even let him fall asleep to TV for his nap. It’s been that way since he was about one years old.

Let my child cry it out.

We decided to Ferberize Rhys. He responded pretty well with it…especially after we bought a music machine. But, there were some nights we just had to let him cry. Same with Evelyn. She doesn’t respond to the Ferber Method at all. Sadly. It breaks my heart. But I’ll let her cry 30 minutes before going in to try to rock her, pat her, sing to her, and reassure her back to sleep.

Give my toddler candy and soda.

Halloween. Can you blame me? Cookies. A sip of sprite. Ice cream. Whatever Justin and I were having, we’ve given to Rhys.  Now, every time we go grocery shopping, if Rhys is well-behaved, he gets to chose either a hot wheel car or a candy bar (they’re the same price!). Evelyn has even had a bite of cake and ice cream before.

Take my children out in public in pajamas.

There have been days I haven’t felt well–I’ve barely gotten dressed. But, I decided to just let my kids wear pajamas. This only happens once in a blue moon though.

Take my children out in public without socks.

When Rhys was a baby, I put socks on him every single day when we’d go out. A very tiny part of it was being afraid of germs. Another tiny part was what other parents would think of a baby just in a onesie (“white trash”…I know, I know…first time mom…). But, mostly, I was always afraid he’d be cold. Even during the Utah summer. However, here in Texas, now that it’s consistently over 90* each day the past few months, I never put socks on Evelyn. She wears sleeveless rompers or onesies with shorts. I will put cute little shoes on her for church because, well, it’s church.

Not buckle my infant into the swing.

Evelyn had a really hard time sleeping the first four months of her life because of her infantile dyschezia. So, she’d sleep in the swing. But, since we swaddled her, we couldn’t really buckle the 5-point buckle. I know–terrible decision. She started twisting and turning, partially due to the bowel movements, partially due to development. One night, before I fell asleep, I heard her fall out of the swing. Never again. I’ve always buckled her in since then!!!!!

Go out in pajamas or without a bra myself.

That’s happened. Especially on hard days. I’d grab the kids real quick, run over to Wal-Mart or CVS down the street, and grab a chocolate and a Pepsi. Embarrassing.

Never Co Sleep with an infant.

I thought co-sleeping was dangerous. And, who in their right mind would want to share a bed all night, every night with their child? When would parents….you know!?!? Well, with Rhys and Evelyn, if they are having a hard time falling back asleep in the middle of the night, had a nightmare, are scared, are sick, or if we are traveling, then I’ll co-sleep with them. And, I love it. I love cuddling with my children and falling asleep to the sound of their breathing. But, I would never fully co-sleep with them. No. I need my space and my sleep and my spouse.

Nap when a kid was awake.

My pregnancy with Evelyn was rough–especially since we moved when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and had to deal with a wild toddler in a new state while my husband traveled for job training. I would get tired early in the morning or in the late afternoon…so, I’d put Rhys on the bed with me and turn on Nick Jr or give him my phone and I’d fall asleep for about 40 minutes. I still do it sometimes. I’ll take a nap with Evelyn in the morning and let Rhys play Wii-U while we sleep.

Let my child have a pacy after they were two-years-old.

I’ve seen older toddlers, even preschoolers stuck on their pacy. Their words were jumbled. Their mouths had an open bite. They were just too old for pacies. And, I knew it would be harder to get rid of pacies the longer I waited. Well, when Rhys turned two, we wanted to. But, we were also transitioning him off bottles completely, into a toddler bed, and moving! So, we just dropped pacies to naptime and bed time. But, we’ve stopped the pacy cold turkey when he turned three years old two weeks ago. We try to keep the pacies limited to naps and bed for Evie, but now that she’s teething and has separation anxiety, she’s using more. Our goal is to get rid of it by the time she’s two, but if not, we’ll follow the same we did with Rhys.

Allow electronics at meal time.

Sometimes, it’s hard for Rhys to focus on eating. He’d rather play than sit and eat. So, we take out Youtube. It works, he sits and eats a full meal, and Justin and I can talk to each other.

Yell at my kids.

I wish. We all do at some point in time. It’s human nature–but a terrible part of it. But, I think if we keep “no yelling” as our goal, we’ll do better than otherwise.

Share a million photos of my kids online.

Sorry, not sorry. =)

What are things you said you’d never do as a parent, but ended up happening anyway?

Tayler is a work at home mom. She does free lance articles and dabbles in graphic design and virtual assisting for bloggers. She spent 3 years as a history and English teacher. Her passions are her husband, two children, history, reading, nature, and her Savior, Jesus Christ.

  • Lizze Cole

    I always hear people talking about what they will and will not do as parents and I have to chuckle a little. There was so much I never thought I would do as a mom, but guess what, I do those things. Well, some of them. As long as your LOs are happy, healthy, and loved, that is what matters.

    • Exactly. As long as our kids are thriving, it really doesn’t matter what hypocrisies we’ve said or done.

  • Isn’t it interesting how it all changes after you actually have children?

    • I know, right! Even going from 1 to 2 kids!

  • Aish Padihari

    Life certainly changes after children. Mostly for better but its true that kids can be restricting.

    • I NEVER think my children are restricting.

  • Christina Rambo

    HahahA! I’m writing this comment as my children watch Netflix while eating their dinner! I pretty much relate to all of these. The whole going out in public with no bra; you are not alone : )

    • Hahaha! Yes! Sometimes, Netflix dinners are the best, though! Haha!

  • Sahar

    Hahahahahaha omg I refuse to admit which one (or ones?) I am already guilty of!!!! I’m lucky though–a friend told me some 10 years ago that you should never tell yourself “I will never do this” or “I will definitely do that” when it comes to parenting. You should always tell yourself “I hope to do/not do this”–it becomes easier to accept when you do something differently than what you had hoped!

    • I think that’s a great idea…”I hope to do/not do this.”

      • Sahar

        Thank you! I have a blog post about this that will go live in a month or so 🙂

  • Elizabeth Voyles

    Love this! Everyone always says parenting hypothetical children is a lot easier than parenting the real ones. Your perspective on what you will and won’t do changes a lot when you’re experiencing real life.

    • Yes! And it changes again with each child!

  • I never thought that I would be room- and bed-sharing with my kiddos. Now I cannot imagine sleeping anywhere else!

    • I definitely still co-nap with them. I love it. But I hate all the kicking and squirming at night.

  • Oh mama! I’m guilty of all of these, except going out without a bra. I just can’t! Maybe if I was a mom in my 30’s but definitely not now in my 30’s. Haha

    • I’m not in my 30’s…..I used to be that way when I only had one…but ever since being pregnant with my second, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, so sometimes it’s all I can do to even think about leaving the house 😉

  • Lauren R

    I’m with you on ALL of these!! So much changes when you go from 1 kid to 2 as well! You never really understand parenthood until YOU experience it and live it!

    • Yes! I’m dreading the transition to kid number three whenever (IF) that ever happens.

  • Long as we do our best, kids are fed and bathed, that’s all that matters!

    • I totally agree with you!

  • My Silly Monkey

    Ha! I think we are all guilty of saying when I have kids I will never …. totally changes when you actually have them.

  • Funny thing is. I am not a mom yet and I am sitting here all judgmental “Yeah, I won’t let ANY of that fly…”. I guess I’ll come back in a few years and edit this comment.

    • Hahaha….that’s how I was too before having kids. I think that’s how everyone is.

  • Rochelle Valle

    The candy and soda thing is so funny! I never thought that I would do that with my kids either.

    • Thankfully, I still haven’t had a want to give some to my 7 month old! haha…we’ll see how long that lasts

  • Justine Y

    Luckily, and I’m not sure why, there were very few things I said I’d “never do” when I had kids. But one of them, the one I struggle with the most, is the yelling thing. It drives me crazy that I’ve let it get as bad as it is.

    • Yelling is the worst! But, I think that’s part of the natural man in is.

  • Hieu Le

    I can feel how much my mother and all mothers on the world suffering from having her first baby. It’s so sweet, so cute and so hard to be a good mummy and changes are necessary when raising a kid.

    • It definitely is hard to be a mom, but it’s the most rewarding thing in the world!

  • I feel you on this whole list. There are so many things that I didn’t think that I would do as a mother that I’ve done. Especially the napping when the toddler is awake.

    • It’s so surprising to see what priorities change after actually having a child!! 😉