I finally had time this week (spring break) to go shopping using my birthday money from parents and in-laws. I needed to stock up on spring and summer clothing, especially jeans and shorts as I only have one pair of jeans that fit my thighs and hips right now.
I will be honest. I was struck down twice:
1) At the mall, I couldn’t find anything I liked for the price. I miss University Mall in Provo with my favorite shops that had amazing clearance racks…
2) I hate how everything, especially the pants (didn’t) fit on me.
It really was a blow to my self-image. Actually, this whole postpartum has. While I was pregnant, I didn’t mind how I looked–I was pregnant, creating a human being. And, I didn’t show very much nor gained more weight than necessary. I was a good-looking pregnant woman. But afterwards, I still am 20 pounds heavier than I was before and my shape has changed. Before pregnancy, I had a slight hourglass, A-line shape. Now, I am starting to have a pear-shape. I still have an hourglass, but then my sillhouette indents a little before bulging back out at the thighs.
I hate it.
Yes, I wrote a post a few weeks postpartum on being beautiful, but it’s been 9 months. It took me this long to put on the weight. Why, after eating healthily and working out for a month have I not lost any weight or changed my shape.
I really want my old figure back. Honestly, I can deal with the weight, as it is an average weight for my height. But, I want my slim, A-line, hourglass frame back!
These are motivation to doing so:
1) At the end of July, we will be having a family reunion with Justin’s family. His sisters, even those who are 13 or so years older than me, are hot! And, they’re all runners. We’ll be doing a half marathon together and then spending a week on a lake…in swimsuits…I want to fit in.
2) I want, desperately, to look like this again:
I miss looking like this. I know I’m pretty. I don’t doubt that. I know I ‘m healthy. I don’t doubt that. But, I do not like how my body feels or the shape it is.
That is my motivation for getting fit.