My boyfriend has a pre-existing condition. He explained the details of it to me on our first date. It was kind of nerve-wracking, but I decided to date him anyway. I fell in love. And I am deeply in love. So much so in love with him that we have been talking about spending the rest of eternity together.
But that also means marrying this condition. And to be honest, it is a little scary. No, that’s not honest–it is a lot scary. But, I try to act as if it isn’t and as if it doesn’t worry me, like I’m the most confident person in the world.
It doesn’t affect him often, but when it does, I tend to worry. I am a worrier. I get it from my mother. I worry about school, I worry about friends, I worry about stress, I worry about all the pieces fitting together and falling into place. So, when he tells me his condition is acting up, I worry.
I immediately get butterflies in my stomach. I want to drop everything and run from campus to his apartment and make sure he truly is all right. It’s because I love him. And when I am unable to leave and go check on him, i will be honest, tears start to drop. Even if he tells me he is all right and to get my work and homework done, my mind is still on him. I love him and want him to be with me forever.
It is hard. I knew it would be from the beginning. And it is scary. I knew it would be from the beginning.
But I love him. And so, I will worry. I will be there for him, by his side. He will be here for me, in my heart. Because I love him, I will continue to worry about him.
And I really couldn’t do justice to this post.