Did you know that pride is a big deal to men? That success is what they strive for? They want to bring home the bacon. They want to be providers. They want to feel like they are successful.
I remember all too well two year ago how Justin’s feelings about his job affected us. He wasn’t using his major. He wasn’t enjoying the company culture. He was tired of the drama at work and all the scapegoats happening. Plus, I had stopped teaching to be a SAHM for my mental health. So, we couldn’t afford rent anymore. He had to move into his mother-in-law’s basement. I started suffering depression. He now had a 45 minute commute. And was suffering depression himself. Then, out of the blow, a week after we found out we were pregnant with Evelyn, Justin’s entire department was let-go.
Thankfully, Justin landed a job with Kubota Tractor, Company doing what he loves–statistical data analysis. Basically, he spends all day “playing” with Excel spreadsheets. Plus, it’s the same business as his dad (his dad works as a marketer for a competing company). Kubota moved us to Texas. Justin immediately started earning more than he did in Utah. He was given projects. He was sent to conferences. He was praised. The company culture was more professional: Justin, for the first time, had a dress standard. Work was important, not slouching off. Respect, not complaining or passing the blame, was the norm. Justin started to love his job.
But, my husband has a downfall. He thinks too little of himself. I know he can reach great heights (and his parents and my parents and all of our siblings combined agree). I don’t ever want him feeling as poorly as he did at his old job. So, I’ve been taking his job very seriously and doing my best to support him. Doing so will not only help my husband’s self-image, but will improve his work performance, the overall atmosphere of our home, my own attitude, and our relationship. So, I want to share with you some ways to help your husband feel successful at work.
Ask about their job and PAY ATTENTION
Every day when Justin comes home, I ask him how work went. I learn his coworkers’ names. I listen to him as he tells me what happened that day, the projects he worked on, what his bosses thought, what his friends did or said. Sometimes I confuse names and most of the time I don’t really understand what he is doing or what he means (I’m not technologically or mathematically literate), but I still pay attention and try to understand. Luckily, we are able to use Gmail chat and can continue to talk throughout the day.
Encourage him and support him
Justin has been given many, many projects at Kubota. I am so excited for his ability to be given more responsibility and I remind him of that. I excitedly ask how his higher-ups thought of his reports. Lately, he’s been given more and more opportunities to represent the company in different conferences. I’ve told him to jump on board. But, I always remind him to pay close attention to what he does and where he goes and to keep track of it in a portfolio. When Justin has to go out of town, I support him and encourage him to go. When things don’t go the way Justin had hoped or when other employees get mad at him, I always support him. I always defend him and make sure he knows that he is doing the best he can and that is all that matters. When we talk throughout the day, I try to find positive things to say to him. Sometimes, it can be a lot of stress and downers as a SAHM, especially when the kids are sick or being pills. But, I still try to find positive things to talk about.
Present yourself and your family well
My dad was a Marine when I was growing up. How my siblings and mom presented themselves and acted really reflected on my dad and truly affected his standing and possibility for promotions. Thankfully, Kubota isn’t anything like that. But, I still try to look my best for Justin. When we go to his office (on rare occasions), I make sure that the kids and I are dressed and look nice. When we go to work events, I am polite and am very sociable (even though it’s hard for me because of my social anxiety). During Justin’s work Christmas party, I bought a new dress, new shoes, and got a mani-pedi. It wasn’t completely altruistic…yes, I wanted to look good for Justin so he could proudly show me off, but I also wanted to look and feel good myself.
Make his office space a “home away from home”
I have given Justin a few things to “decorate” his office/cubicle with. I make sure to have updated pictures of the family. I also make him some “gift packages” from time to time. These include desk snacks, first aid type items (advil, bandaids), and desk supplies. I also try to set aside a full serving of dinner for him to use as left-over lunch.
You can do more than help his office feel relaxing. Make your own home more homey. Have dinner ready for him. Try to keep it as clean as you can. Allowing your husband come home to a clean and relaxing environment can help him leave his stress and anxiety at the door. Then, in the morning, he will feel refreshed and ready for another successful day at work.
Help him dress the part
Justin has never really been one to care about what he wears. While we dated and while he was still a student in our first two years of marriage, Justin wore jeans and a t-shirt. I knew something special was happening when he pulled on a button-down. His first “grown-up” job (the one he got let go from), there was no dress code. People came in wearing whatever they wanted, smelling however they wanted, with as many holes in their body as they wanted. I hated it. But, here at Verisys, they have a certain dress code. So, a year and a half ago, when Justin first got hired, I forced him to go to Kohls and spent almost $200 on a new wardrobe for him. I’m still trying to convince him to go again so he can update his work closet. But, he does look better and he feels better. He keeps better care of his beard. I shared with him two hacks I learned from my sisters to quickly help him get dressed in the morning: 1) to quickly smooth out wrinkles, put a shirt in the dryer with a few icecubes. Have it go until the ice cubes melt–your own personal dry-cleaning! 2) Use a hair straightener to iron button strips and collars.
I’ve had Justin buy beard products as well as good shoes. But, I still wanted him to feel more successful and look more successful especially since he has a couple of big conferences coming up in which he is doing some presentations. So, I decided to get him a JORD watch.
***I was given a JORD watch in exchange for a review. All thoughts and opinions are my own and my husband’s own.**
Mens wood watches are very popular right now and I wanted Justin to look and feel like he was successful enough to own one. (Especially since at a recent conference, his coworkers playfully joked and teased him about being a poor Millennial because we shop at Wal-Mart, have a Costco membership, and can’t afford Amazon Prime.) When I told Justin I wanted to get him a JORD watch, he wasn’t necessarily convinced, but when he saw the unique watches and how many different kinds of wood and fashions they were, he quickly changed his mind.
And can I say, I love this watch on my husband. It makes him look even more sophisticated! But, don’t take it from me….here is what Justin has to say about the watch:
First off, compliments on the packaging and care of the delivery and presentation of the watch. While I opened it, I could tell the importance of the watch to the manufacturer, which reflects me to how I should care for it. The watch face’s color was surprising more vibrant than expected and the pictures on the website are a great reflection of how the product looks in real life, which is stunning. It is a very comfortable fit. It does not rub or pinch the hairs on my wrist, and moves effortlessly without snagging or pulling. The watch is lightweight, in no means cheap or flimsy, but durable and very elegant looking.
Luckily for you, you have the chance to get a JORD watch for your husband to wear to work, as well! One person will win a $100 gift code on their very own unique wood watch. (Or, if you want to be selfish–I kid, I kid!–you can use that winning to get a women’s watch. Contest ends on February 25th and winners will be contacted by JORD watches afterward.
But, if you don’t want to take the chance, you can immediately save $25 and free sizing by using the code: b121069g.