Goals. Sometimes it’s more fun to make the goals than to actually follow through with them. A lot of times, that’s how I feel. Sigh. The curse of a Type A. Lists, lists, organization, planning….that’s what is fun for me. But, I need to grow up. I need to become an adult. I need to be strong. I can be strong. I can do this. So, here are the goals I will create for this month (as well as a review of my goals from last month).
Each month it seems that I rock at my goals the first week and a half to two weeks. Then, I completely fail the rest of the month. It seems that way every time I do one of these monthly goals. But I don’t give up. I don’t stop making goals. Why. Because it always helps to be striving toward something. Having a goal helps build motivation. It helps give life purpose. It helps me to live more intentionally. And, I may fail (a lot). I’m not going to give myself grace, but I am going to acknowledge that I am mortal. I am human. I have weaknesses. A lot of them. And so, rather than try to make things more clear or stringent, I am going to go back to basics. I want to figure out my who, my how, and my why.
After unintentionally not blogging for the first half of August, I decided to take a break for the entire month. Yes, I was still present in social media. However, I was intentionally trying to use it to grow myself. It felt nice to take a break. We were moving, I started going off my anti-depressant, and Evie started hardcore teething. So, I enjoyed just being in the present. …and sleeping. A lot of sleeping. Haha.
I’m ready to jump back into blogging. I have a lot of ideas. I mean, a ton of ideas. So many ideas that I now have the entire rest of the year planned out. But, here is a the weird thing. I missed blogging, and I’m glad to get back to it, but I’m not necessarily “excited” about it? I love blogging, but I don’t have such a huge burning passion for it? It’s weird to describe.
But, here we go!
Having June off from real goals really helped me. I wasn’t as stressed (granted, I wasn’t as productive either), but I was happier. I did have some health issues and lot of blood work done. On the one hand, the blood work and my physicals all came back normal, on the other hand, we still aren’t sure why I’ve been so overly exhausted, sleepy, and weak lately. But, I’ve started to feel better. I’ve also done better with just being present with my kids and enjoying watching them and reading to them without the distraction of electronics. You may have noticed that I haven’t really been all that active on social media lately–that was needed. I didn’t feel the passion for it. But, now that’s it’s July, I’m ready to get back to the grind of things. I’m ready for a renewal, just like last year (I love Danica for always doing these half-way-through-the-year checkups–they are so inspiring to focus back on your resolutions).
May got away from me. After a major plateau, and even a little hill in weight
los s gain, a bad bout of depression and anxiety spurred by a new birth control, a daughter who is struggling to sleep through the night, and a son who is potty trained completely only when he isn’t wearing underwear, I struggled. Bad. Exercising fell off the radar, as did any motivation and most of my participation in Church. Most days were spent on the couch, letting the Wii-U and TV reign supreme, ordering out for lunch, struggling to somewhat clean the house before Justin came home, falling behind in blogging and freelancing, and wth a frown on my face.
I’m embarrassed to say that I really didn’t get any of goals from May done. I fell into such a funk and I let the funk rule over me. After Memorial Day weekend, I was determined to start fresh–clean house, clean mind, on top of things, positive and healthy. That last all of Memorial Day. Then, I decided to start fresh on June 1st. Lasted only a day. I want to start fresh today, but the house isn’t clean, dishes aren’t done, none of my blog posts or freelancing is done for this week–I always seem to play catch up and never can stay ahead.